The new Miss Trans Israel Elian Nesiel speaks about her gender change, about the importance of support, and bout her right to adopt a child and start a family.
Elian Nesiel grew up in Bat Yam in a religious family and at the age of 13 he realized that he was not at peace with his gender. Wanting to make a gender transition, he began the process. Today, she is 20 years old, studies fashion design and is completely at peace with herself.
“Ever since I knew that I could change my gender, I knew that I wanted to undergo this change,” she says.
What was your family’s reaction to the change you underwent?
“At first they couldn’t accept the change and I can understand that, because it’s not something that is necessarily accepted, especially at that time. It happened when there was so much less acceptance and openness, and they didn’t know exactly what transgender was. Slowly they managed to accept it. Each year the situation improved and slowly they accepted the change.”
Nesiel says that when she was a child, the attitude toward her was not good. It was very difficult for her to adapt and be a part of society, especially in her teenage years. But in the years that followed, she managed to accept herself, and that’s when the environment changed: “The attitude toward me changed for the better. When you manage to define yourself and be complete with who you are, the serrounding treats you accordingly.”
“As I grew up, there was more awareness of the LGBT community and I saw more people like me, and I felt that I was being accepted more. Today I feel very good around people, especially thanks to the association ‘Beyachad’ that helps me a lot. I have a lot of supporting girlfriends and it helps a lot.”
To what extent does the environmental response affect you?
“It’s very important. No matter what your self confidence level is, society’s attitude towards you affects you. When you are not accepted and not loved, you feel rejected, and this feeling is also expressed outwardly. ”
According to Nesiel, it’s not that difficult to give a sense of acceptance. “It’s very easy to give a smile, a good word or even just not to say bad words. It really does matter, it helps. It’s important for me to send out the message that you have to be considerate of other person’s feelings, you just have to let people be. ”
On October 7, Miss Trans Star International competition will take place in Barcelona, where Elian will represent Israel. “I did not believe it!” Elian says about her reaction to the announcement that she was Miss Trans Israel 2017. “I was so excited when I heard the news, I’m still very excited and scared, it’s definitely a great achievement. I don’t want to disappoint anyone, I want to do my best. I would like to thank my family who supports me, and also Mor Vital and Kim Connection, who have helped me to realize one of my dreams.”
What are your dreams?
“To have a family, to have children, a husband, a good job. I have a lot of love to give, I have a lot to give to those around me and to the child I want to have. I don’t want to be restricted and not be allowed to fulfill this dream because of the gender change that I have made.
“All I want is to be a woman, and like all other women, to have a family, get married, raise a child and have my mother be proud of me and happy because of me. I went through a long and tough journey and I don’t understand why it was because of it that I was deprived of parental and adoption rights.”
In conclusion, what advice can you give to all those who are uncomfortable with their gender?
“To dream and to try to realize dreams is the most important thing, to find a supportive shoulder to lean on, to speak and to pour it out of the heart, not to be ashamed, and to always think that life is here and now. I’m living my life now and if I delay working on fulfilling my dreams I will regret it. To do what we love and what we think is right, and to do it the best way possible. Don’t hurt anyone, always love and give, because the one who gives always gets back. Try to simply love, give, rejoice and enjoy, because life is beautiful and short, that’s all.”