Journalist Roy Youldous Rosenzweig writes a special column from Bangkok, Thailand, about his thoughts and feelings after his two baby girls were born there via surrogacy. Roy, his partner Or and the babies are still there, waiting for their OK to come back to Israel. Congratulations, guys!
So many people did not want me to write this column. They insulted me, hit the most sensitive spots, used their power to try and prevent me from fulfilling the biggest dream of my life. They made an effort and uploaded a violent post on Facebook , got interviewed on every media possible in order to test my morale and doubt my abilities as a parent before even giving me a chance.
Everything they have done was backed by a state that saw and still sees me as a second class citizen, that renounced me and sent me to the other side of the world, just to provide me with inhuman difficulties on the way back.
But today I put them all behind me, because I have something else to think about, something wonderful.
I am writing these words in Bangkok late at night. Exhausted, excited and thrilled. Thirty four weeks of pregnancy ended with the emotional birth of my daughters, Alya and Liri, who came into the world at Fiiatai hospital in downtown Bangkok.
I write this today, but basically I started writing this column more than two years ago, when Ori, my partner, and I, started the greatest journey of our lives. A scary, exciting journey, full of expectations and disappointments, uncertainties , crazy economic costs , hope, disappointment and one goal : to become parents . We were ( and still are) a pair of men who love each other, who, after three years together, realized that the next thing is bringing children into this world, though we didn’t know whether and how to do that.
We ran between agencies in the country, called fertility clinics around the world, raised money from our parents, consulted with doctors and finally we set off with the Tammuz Surrogacy Company. We chose an egg donor and went through a fertilization process that failed again and again and again and again – until the pregnancy finally happened. Now we have two kids – and the joy was doubled.
In these two years we have learned so much about each other and ourselves.
We’ve been heartbroken again and again, spent many sleepless nights, waited and waited , thought, dreamed, dealt with homophobia under the guise of enlightenment , ministerial foolishness and governmental indifference. We consulted with people who have done it before us, those who have gone through this tremendous journey for themselves and didn’t give up. We drew strength from friends and family and especially each other – until we met the most amazing two pairs of eyes we’ve ever seen in our lives , halfway around the world.
We did it. We are now fathers.