Jewish-Polish co-director of the Matrix films Lana Wachowski, who came out as transgender earlier this year, says she almost committed suicide as a young adult because of her identity struggles.
Speaking at a recent event for the Human Rights Campaign in San Francisco where she accepted the LGBT organisation’s Visibility Award, Wachowski talked about her difficult time at her Catholic school and said: “In the absence of words to defend myself, without examples, without models, I began to believe voices in my head – that I was a freak, that I am broken, that there is something wrong with me, that I will never be loveable”.
Wachowski, Co-director of the forthcoming movie ‘Cloud Atlas,’ starring Tom Hanks and Halle Berry (opens today), broke her silence on her traumatic childhood. She once suffered a physical beating at the hands of a Catholic school nun after she failed to join a line of boys and nearly committed suicide as a young adult before being stared down by a man who wandered onto an empty subway platform where Wachowski was standing. “I don’t know why he wouldn’t look away,” Wachowski told the crowd. “All I know is that because he didn’t, I am still here.”
Wachowski, 47, half of the sibling directing team behind The Matrix trilogy, was on hand to accept the Visibility Award for her recent decision to reverse a long-standing policy of eschewing press and public appearances and to openly acknowledge her transition — a word she said she dislikes “because of its complicity in a binary gender narrative” — to womanhood.
The movie ‘Cloud Atlas,’ directed by Lana and her brother Andy, today in theaters.