Love Wins: Hadar & Nitzan

Nitzan (34), a multidisciplinary artist and photographer, and Hadar (25), an artist shared their love story on Tu B’Av, “the Jewish Valentine’s Day:” “We look like a regular straight couple, but for those who don’t know us we’re a transgender man and a bisexual woman.”


We don’t identify as LGBT people. For those who don’t know, we’re a transgender man and a bisexual woman, but we look like a regular straight couple.

People see us “as if” it’s not bothering them, but still make faces in an attempt to understand our relationship; Hadar is a bit tomboy and my style is considered feminine for a man. Ironically the most surreal looks we get are actually from gay and lesbian people, who think “he/she will understand one day…”

Our relationship recently started – 4 months ago. We met through a mutual friend, an artist, and for a while we were friends. We used to communicate on Whats App all the time, and finally I wrote Hadar that i’d like to know her a little more. There is a lot of fun in our relationship. We love to cuddle, hike and bike, find treasures on the street and share our work with each other. Alongside these, we have also learned a lot about gender and ourselves.

The community has a lot of self – and social – judgment. We think that there’s a lot of social and spiritual work that should be done, only after which there may be openness and empathy for love. There is also a lot of involvement in momentary satisfactions, and when you concentrate on that- it’s almost impossible to achieve something fixed and stable.

Don’t look for your other half. Aspire to inner balance and acceptance, the joy of being with yourself and enriching your world. From that place, for sure, comes love- – self love and a life partner.