How Britney’s Tel Aviv Concert Ended Up With A Lesbian Marriage Proposal

It was like a regular Tel Aviv concert. Big artist, exaggerated prices, sound system not-so-great, an hour and a half of songs and an encore. Some of the fun in these concerts are the complaints. But Britney’s concert was no less than amazing.

It’s true that she doesn’t dance and just goes onstage when a million dancers around her make you feel like something’s happening. It’s true that she changes costumes as if we were still in 2002. It’s true that she’s the world’s winner in the smallest and lowest jumping competition. Everything is true and still – Britney’s performance in Israel was amazing.

I never liked concerts at Hayarkon Park and certainly not paying NIS 300 for them. But Britney, oh Britney, is something else. I ordered a T shirt with a print from her music video for Stronger, squeezed into a pair of torn Levi’s jeans and went on to pray that a taxi would stop to take us to the show.

At the beginning of the performance we examined what was going on around us. A couple, an older man and a 20-year-old girl, a father who is responsible for a group of girls, and a group of 30-year-olds who were the golden section of the audience – who both miss the past and also have money to pay for those longings.

Many were disappointed that the concert included many new songs that nobody knew and less of her familiar hits. Many were disappointed by the selection of the warm-up act. But they all had a half-seizure of excitement when Brittany shouted “Hi Tel Aviv” in a voice that sounded like a throat full of helium. And everyone wanted to die of happiness when she finally sang ‘Stronger.’

I used to be a broken-hearted high schooler who would hear Stronger and been moved by it, drawing strength from Britney in a non-ironic way, but from a place of beauty that someone understands what I feel and knows how to make music out of it.

We stood and cried about what ugly children we were and how fortunate we are now, now that now I’m 30 years old, standing here with the love of my life and surrounded by my friends and enjoying Britney in a self-conscious state.

I’m crazy about the power of emotions of 15-year-olds, that’s why I wanted to work with youth. I have something a little sleepy about this pursuit of success, with the rent and the Xanax and Britney really moving me.

When we returned home, when I came out of the shower, Tom, the love of my life, was waiting for me on the bed with our cat and a big diamond ring. Then she asked me if I wanted to marry her. I was at that moment ‘Stronger’ than ever and I remembered why in high school I would have been moved by Britney.