A lesbian couple who used a “Jewish sperm” to get pregnant and whose son was born on Passover, couldn’t stop thinking about their son’s donor siblings.
In the spring of 2012, while my wife was reading novels on Cape Cod, I was glued to my laptop, shopping for sperm. As a lesbian couple, we had considered different ways we could have children — adopting, co-parenting with another person or couple, conceiving with the sperm of a male friend or going to a sperm bank. We ultimately opted for a sperm bank, which felt like the easiest option, both emotionally and logistically.
After downloading several donor profiles from a bank’s website, we chose a Jewish photographer who majored in history. He wrote a tender essay about the importance of his family, his love for nature, the beauty of urban life, the joy of laughing with friends, and the pleasure of biting into a fresh piece of fruit. He plays pick-up soccer in the park and practices a Brazilian martial art called Capoeira.
He seemed like a nice guy, the kind of person we’d enjoy getting to know over lattes or sangria. We called him Mr. Frozen, because his vials of sperm would spend most of their illustrious lives in a freezer. Fortunately, Mr. Frozen had strong swimmers: The sperm bank had documented several pregnancies and births. We wondered whether we would ever meet the children conceived with Mr. Frozen’s sperm — the donor siblings of our future child.
Two years later, my wife and I rolled into the hospital, where our son was born on the fourth day of Passover.